The problem is that I don't know. Sure i've had some issues with people in my life. Haven't we all. But nothing has ever happened to me that was irreversible or physically damaging.
I have mother issues. Anyone who knows me knows about this one. But really... I haven't lived with my mother for nearly 20 years, how long can I keep blaming shit on her?
Next, I have domestic goddess issues. Poor baby. You have a bloke who loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you have two gorgeous children who challenge you and idolise you on a daily basis. You have enough money to be comfortable in life. What's your issue?
So what does that leave me with? Me. A big - fat - ME.
Who is to blame for the way I am? ME
Who hasn't made a genuine effort to change? ME
Who blames others for the things she doesn't do? ME
A - BIG - FAT - ME....
I'm a quitter. Simple as that.
So, back to the motivation for this post, Jack Sh*t....
Seriously, I reckon that my style of personal trainer would just be a drill sergeant who got right up in my face and yelled 'get off that fat arse and do something with yourself, you lazy biatch!'
Sometimes I think that we overthink things too much (irony?). Who cares about the why? Maybe i'm so fat because i'm just depressed about being fat, and too lazy to do anything about it? Maybe? Definately.
I've had fat comments since I was about 10 years old (again, mother stuff). And the sad thing? When I look back at my earlier photos I was NO WAY NEAR fat... but those comments, and probably my 'sensitivity' (for want of a better word) compounded the 'fat' issue as the years went by, and that put me on the long and winding journey towards morbid obesity.
Mothers, please be careful what you say to your daughters...
Anyway, the point of this post was to say, I sometimes need a kick to leave the pity party that i've been having (all on my lonesome), so please feel free to just tell it like it is.
I really need a dose of the 'just stop whining and do it' pill ...
3 Friends sharing the love xx:
I could have written that post girl!
I am ALWAYS careful what I say to my kids... there is no way I'm doing to them what was done to me growing up!
"Who is to blame for the way I am? ME
Who hasn't made a genuine effort to change? ME
Who blames others for the things she doesn't do? ME
A - BIG - FAT - ME....
I'm a quitter. Simple as that."
SO HARD ON YOURSELF!
What would your life be like if???
- no-one was to 'blame'?
- you had made a genuine effort to change but it hadn't had the effect you wanted?
- you weren't blaming others, but there were legitimate reasons for not doing those things?
- you weren't a quitter?
-WHAT IF IT WASN'T AS SIMPLE AS THAT?
What if it was just really really hard for you to lose weight?
I'm not saying give up, I'm saying perhaps let yourself off the hook a bit.
Believe me, LBTEPA, I'm not all down on myself. That was me giving myself a strict talking to!!
I guess what I was trying to say (in a very longwinded way) is that trying to analyse things and find the reasons just isn't getting the job done. And i'm at the point where I just need to get the job done.
You know you've so totally made it onto Bella's 'most motivational' list. Not because of all the amazing things you are putting your mind to and accomplishing, but also because you aren't afraid to show us all that it is still a struggle.
The difference between where you're at and where i'm at is that you DO (for the most part) get up and get to it. I just think about it.
Thank you :)
Post a Comment