So what are you going to do about it?

We all have monsters in our closets....things that come out only in our deepest, darkest hours, then we shove them back in until our next weak moment.   Mine are my thoughts...  specifically my self-talk about whether or not i'll ever be able to get control of my weight and live the fulfilling life that I SO want to live.

The power of our mind is amazing.  I read once that, in setting ourselves unattainable goals, we are sometimes looking to fail as an excuse to keep telling ourselves, 'well, you failed at that, don't bother trying'....  why is it that we are so scared of failing in our weight loss efforts that we make it happen to ourselves?

I don't consider myself to be a quitter in everyday life.  I face challenges at work, with my children, out in the world... but in my own world, I am weak....  There, I said it. 

I am so afraid of failure (or maybe of the effort that you have to put in?) that I won't even give it a proper try.  It breaks my heart to admit it...

I went to a networking dinner with some workmates this weekend, and they had a section at the end where you had to answer a few questions about yourself...

One of them was what would you like to do before you die?

Hmm.... so easy to answer this one with a flippant "become The Rock's personal massuese" or something similar, but when the girls asked me I said 'get control of my weight, and get married... in that order'  (yes, that's right, i'm not officially married yet - I hate calling him my partner/defacto and boyfriend doesn't cut it when you've been together for like 15 years).

So anyway, the workmate sitting next to me, a lovely fit healthy outgoing lady in her late forties, says 'so what are you going to do about it?'

It was like a slap in the face, but in a good way...It made me think. 

I've wasted so many years thinking 'if I do (a), (b) or (c) like so-and-so then I will get the same results'.  When really i've been holding myself up to totally unrealistic standards.... other people's ideals.

So what am I going to do about it?

Therein lies the question.  And i've been thinking about it ever since...

I need to do something that will fit in with my life and work for ME in MY situation.  And maybe then i'll stop beating myself up for NOT doing the things that work (seemingly so easily) for others.

If you're still here after all that rambling, i'd love to hear your thoughts,