You see, my son is only in kindergarten and already has me hovering around his school like a blackhawk... and I just learned that my daughter might have some of the same issues ... issues with authority ... part of the reason I was so interested in the article below.
I was surprisingly very emotional when reading this article by Susan Gregory Thomas about how Generation X kids overcompensate in parenting their children.
It's obviously something I need to explore a whole lot more, because it was the WHY that got to me... Here's a taste test for you:
If you want to know what's unhealed from your own childhood, have children. Key to decoding our parental behavior is understanding that we are, albeit often unconsciously, doing for our children what no one did for us..... For starters, we are ferocious advocates for our kid.
Generation X ..."went through its all-important formative years as one of the least parented, least nurtured generations in .... history." Little wonder: Half of all Gen Xers' parents are divorced. We were the first to be raised in record numbers in day care, and some 40 percent of us were latchkey kids.
We've been taking care of ourselves since we started going to school, and we don't trust authority figures, because they weren't trustworthy when we were growing up. Our parents didn't know what was going on at school, and our teachers didn't know what was going on at home. We're not going to let this happen to our children -- not even for a second. We'll do whatever we have to do to make sure our kids get what they need.This explains my feeling of being neglected as a child (even though I was clothed, fed, warm).
I've told myself so many times.. 'I don't know what your issue is, so many kids had it much worse than you' and i've guilted myself into tucking those feelings away as invalid... maybe they aren't so invalid. Maybe I was just a kid that needed somebody else to take responsibility .... needed parents?
Am I overcompensating with my children (and thus enabling their behaviour issues at school) because of what I didn't get as a child? How do I fix it?
Food for thought... Anyone else?
3 Friends sharing the love xx:
It is so difficult to step back and let your kids be kids. Of course you want to protect them, but it is a fine balancing act and let them experience life. My sister in law was so over protective of her kids that they were never allowed to ride their bikes. Of course she would not go with them either. I have 5 kids who are all grownups now. I tried my best to watch over them and to be there when they needed me. At the same time, they had to learn life lessons. Disappointment, trust issues and other adults who behaved badly. They still call me first when the news is good or bad. I take pride in that and the fact they are learning to adjust to what life brings them. Good luck to you. I don't know if that helped or not.
I have always been overprotective of my kids.. I know just how dangerous seemingly 'innocent' situations can be for kids! and who is going to look after them better than the Mum and Dad???
Very interesting! I don't have the exact same issue but it's very similar. I do notice it in some other parents my age. I'm pretty laid back in my parenting but I do NOT trust the school or most other parents. They seem to let the kids do whatever they want. My parents were very strict and I think I turned out better for it, so I'm employing the same methods.
Great food for thought! Thank you for posting about it.
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