Back to Work

So i'm back at work, the kids are back at school, i'm back to running backwards and forwards from my job, to school, to the babysitters, back to work, back to the babysitters... you get the idea...

The gym room hasn't eventuated yet, and i'm definately not cracking on the exercise front, but i'm trying to do a little bit every day.

I figure what i've been doing in the past obviously isn't working, so every change that I make (no matter how small) has to help me sort out what will make a difference.

At this point it's hour by hour... I try to start each hour fresh and forgive myself if I wasn't so good the last hour, and tell myself that my past decisions don't have to effect my future... Airy fairy? Perhaps, but it seems to be helping me :)

They say it takes 30 days to change a habit, and that's my motivation to keep at it. Hopefully i'll eventually make it a day by day prospect, then a month by month prospect and by the time I get to a yearly breakdown of my life, I reckon i'll be pretty darn happy with the way it's going (and I can't WAIT for that day!)

So here's to small changes and big hearts, and to all you girls out there who share your stories and allow the rest of us to remember that even the success stories started out in another place entirely.

xx's from Bella

**I weighed myself last night and was 124.6kg, a nice little loss to go along with my nice new attitude!**

Five's a crowd?

Seeking feedback:

Family of four. 
Father in good reliable job. 
Mother in full time work for 1 year, maybe longer, not permanent.
Parents aged 34 and 36 (Mother older).
Parents 'comfortable' enough financially....

Children seeking younger sibling.... 
Mother 'sterilised' after 'repairs' from previous births.
Parents both with STRONG nesting urge.... 
Mother worried about regrets....
Life/love/another child versus money?

Has anyone been in this situation?

Thoughts?

Just a Quickie

Hubby's home early from away, so back to sneakily enjoying the blog whilst he's at work!

I've been putting off doing the actual statistics post for various reasons, but don't  want to any longer.  I'm just going to hold my breath and dive right in...

When I was blogging last (1996), I remember commenting that my weight was getting dangerously close to 120kg... Since then I returned to part time work and lost 11kg with no effort at all, it was GREAT!  Then the work ended and I renewed my friendship with my best/worst friend (the fridge) and my weight went back up to 119kg or so.

Well, this year i've returned to work full time and was hoping to have a loss similar to the one I had when I returned to work last time - after all, the fridge and me have got at least 6 hours a day when we are apart. 

It hasn't happened.  I'm SO dissappointed, and now know that I have to put in the hard yards. And my motivating factor? (besides life, you mean Bella?) is that special occasion that I want to be my best for next year.

So in the interest of full transparency... my name is Bella and i'm a food addict...at this moment, I weigh 127.8kg, and I need help.

It's not like i've ever been a skinny girl, and I have ideas about the issues and reasons for this gain in weight, but at this point I feel the need to just DO SOMETHING.... anything....  I can get into the whys once the journey has begun.

So i've loaded up the ipod with music and am ready to start cracking on the exercise front.... well maybe fizzing initially, and i'll work my way up to cracking!

We're clearing a room in the next couple of weeks so that I can set up the 'gym' and I can't wait to be able to have all my equipment in the same place, ready to design a little circuit for myself. 

Am feeling very motivated, which is easy to do whilst on hoildays from work! 

Will let y'all know how it's going in a couple of days.  Take care of you xx

Reflection

Look at me, you may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me - 
Every day it's as if I play a part.
Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world, but I can not fool my heart.

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
When will me reflection show who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in.
But somehow I will show the world what's inside my heart, and be loved for who I am.

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly, that burns with a need to know the reason why.

Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time,
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Hear this song by Christina Aguilera from the Disney movie Mulan [1998] 

PS - it's probably better that you just listen, unless you want to have a good laugh - Christina was so VERY dramatic back then (I guess I can forgive her because her voice ROCKS!)

Or there's the movie version of the song by the fabulous Lea Salonga, which I like even more than Xtina's version because it's just a little bit more 'true'.

Words of Wisdom

Just read this post from Shelli's Sentiments about recognising the good things about the people you love whilst they are still with you. 

It's led to the creation of a web site, Letters for the Living, so that people can write open letters to those that mean something to them  (sort of like PostSecret is to people with a secret they need to share).

What a great idea it is to provide a protected environment for people to express those things that are often just too darn hard to say out loud.  I reckon it will be a hit... and although i'm not good at expressing all that mushy stuff, if I ever send you a link directly, please read it :)

In the same vein, there's this post from Coffee Soup where Michele writes about losing her Mum to a form of cancer.    Choked.Me.Up.  Bring your tissues if you have any mother issues... or maybe that's just me?

Dearest Blogger

I've been away from this game for some time now, and you've got all sorts of new things for me to play with.

So play I did.

I thought those long hours spent at the computer, the sore back, the grainy eyes, were well worth it when I saw the results - a list of my favourite blogs all lined up for me, and sorted by when they were last updated, no less! 

I was impressed.   So impressed, in fact, that I deleted my old Blogrolling lists.  "I won't have a need for these pesky things anymore", I thought, my dear Blogger.  But I was sadly mistaken.

In trying to create a beautiful, serene, hopeful, mystifying place for my visitors and myself to dwell in, you asked me a simple question...  'do you want to keep your widgets?' 

'Why yes!' I thought, 'How delightful of you to ask'.  And like a fool, I clicked that button, foregoing all the precautions that a clever girl like me usually takes. 

"Backup, backup, backup" - has been my motto for many a year.  "Do a test run first", has crossed my lips many a time.

But no... when faced with that fateful question... I clicked yes.  And ASSUMED, dear Blogger, that you would also keep the CONTENTS of those widgets...

WTF HAPPENED TO MY BLOG LISTS!!!!  AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHH!

Now, if you'll excuse me, i'll be off to try and remember the names of fifty or so blogs that I have visited these last couple of days.   Please, please, PRETTY PLEASE, internet explorer, remember them in your history....

Calling all Angels

Hi Girls,

As said in previous post, have dusted off my old blogrolls and am reacquainting myself with old friends.

Only problem is, as happened with me, so many of my favourite blogging friends have gone private or just totally disappeared ...  :(

What to do? 

Can you just contact an old friend out of the blue and say 'I'm back and want to be part of your life again'?

Cranky, Bec, Wanna, Kateypie, Amanda Jane, Bri - where are you girls?  Are you interested in hooking up with an old friend?

PS - forgot how sore you can get sitting at a computer for hours on end .... pushing.through.the.pain ;)

PPS - also haven't found Jac (Honey, now if i'm honest) and Kenz (Chips, Choc Milk and Chin ups)... if anyone knows where they are and is willing to take pity on a wayward blogger i'd be much appreciative :)

ooh, ooh... and Steph (I think?) from Much Ado about somethin' ....

What Can I Say?

I'm back...  reacquainting myself with old friends and possibly making some new ones. Yippee!

After a layoff of a good three(?) years, i've decided to return to the blogosphere to share my journey towards my beautiful life.  Must admit that I miss the companionship that you all provided me with over the years.

Nesting in progress... so please excuse me whilst I make myself at home...  and i'm going to travel incognito this time.  No names, no fingerprints.

I still have young children, and a husband that works away alot (more than usual lately), but have now returned to work and am hoping to lose some (a lot?) of weight in time for a special occassion next year.... the methods and madness behind said weightloss will probably be the main subject of this little journal, but that doesn't mean that we can't have a little fun along the way :)

Come join me?

Chatterbox

Blogger Chat

Go Figure...

2010
                                   since last weigh in               since first weigh in
12/4/10     127.8kg
28/4/10     124.6kg          (-3.2kg)                           
10/6/10     128.3kg          (+3.7kg)                           (+0.5kg)